duh duh duh duh duh duh duh

So today, one of the other drivers at the Wings place, Adolfo, who's from El Salvador, put on this GIGANTIC chicken costume, and handed out menus to people on the street. Could not have been more family guy-esque, unless he was handing out expired coupons. Anyway, the manager sent him "up the street, to that park with all the kids in it" to go promote the restaurant. As soon as he was out the door, people were gawking and almost getting in car wrecks. The humor of the situation is compounded by the fact that Adolfo speaks highly imperfect English, so any questions that were addressed to him would most likely have been misunderstood and almost certainly answered with an unintelligible response. Man, it was funny.

el numero suerte slevin

Just finished watching Lucky Number Slevin. I really liked it.

allegedly overheard in new york

Kid #1: Paper beats rock. BAM! Your rock is blowed up!
Kid #2: "Bam" doesn't blow up, "bam" makes it spicy. Now I got a SPICY ROCK! You can't defeat that!
===
Dumb teen: Hey, look at this! It says "Train for jobs in biotch."
Smarter teen: Fool! That word is biotech. Why you gotta be ignorant all your life?
===
Guy, staring at girl: You look like someone I know.
Girl: It's me.
Guy: Oh, hi Alexis. You look different at eight in the morning.
===
Asian chick: Like you've ever even seen a baby prostitute.
===
Teen girl: It was the saddest thing ever. It was almost as sad as watching a baby cough.
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Teen girl: I'm not saying I wish I had a penis. It would just be nice to be able to pee standing up.
Teen guy: Peeing standing up is a lot like eating grapefruit... One wrong move, and you could squirt yourself in the eye.
Teen girl: Oh my god... seriously?
===
Little boy: I can't wait to get home so I can scratch my crotch!
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Little boy: Why didn't Harry Potter just take a shotgun and blow that guy's head off?
===
Two kids are looking at the Dove ad campaign showing Hanna-Barbera characters with new hairdos.

Kid #1: Yo, look at that Jetsons mom's hair.
Kid #2: What's the Jetsons?
Kid #1: You don't know the Jetsons? Dem's those niggas that live in space.
===

I'm really starting to want...

... an EAI BareKnuckle.

my sweet lord

http://www.digave.com/videos/


Watch the two "new" ones. I have much to learn in my delivering, it seems.

Weigh in starts at 5pm

Today was tremendously hot and humid; I probably sweated off a couple of pounds. Thankfully, the extreme sweatiness and helmet probably combined to increase my pity tips.

Also: I'm not longer homeless; my parents were kinda enough to drive up to KC and look at houses that they and I had found on Craigslist... they found one that is better than the one I WAS going torent in every way. Highlights include: (1) Gas stove (so I can actually stir-fry things the proper way, over an open flame) (2) Dishwasher (3) Pets are OK (the landlords actually foster cats as a hobby, and are eager to help me find a good cat to adopt) (4) Easily walkable/bikeable to the school (5) Garage. AWESOME. Pics to come maybe?

Enough self-indulgent ranting though. Onto some self-indulgent teaching! Please read up on the following Interesting Things:

1. The only man to have his head caught in a particle accelerator beam and live to tell about it.
2. Migaloo, Humphrey, Delta, and Dawn: Famous Humpback Whales.
3. A Preposterous Track Bike.
4. Catastrophic Frame Failure.